


Where You Invest Your Love (You Invest Your Life)

by seekrest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Parker Deserves Better, Ben Parker is a Good Bro, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jewish Peter Parker, Mild Language, Peter Parker Has a Family, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, literally— the greatest brother, the Ben fic I have been wanting to write for ages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 20:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21124730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: “Hi Peter. I’m your uncle Ben.”Peter doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t even move - completely content and asleep as Ben brings him closer.He’d made a promise to himself years ago that he’d do anything to keep Richard safe.And now, holding his nephew in his arms - Ben knew that his promise had now transformed into something else.Peter was Richard’s son.Ben would do anything for him.It was his greatest honor.It was his responsibility.





	Where You Invest Your Love (You Invest Your Life)

**Author's Note:**

> Six months ago today, I posted my first story to AO3. I have loved every minute and to celebrate, this is a story that I have been wanting to write for ages.
> 
> Ben Parker deserves better - in life, in canon and in fic.
> 
> This is my small tribute to the man who helped make Peter Parker into the person we all know and love.

“Ben Parker?”

Ben’s head snaps up, meeting his teacher’s gaze.

“As riveting as it is to listen to the variety of snores you seem to have, sleep in my class again and you’re in for detention you hear?” Ben’s cheeks warm at hearing his classmates snicker, nodding his head furiously.

“Yes Mr. Willis.”

Ben sees Mr. Willis’ features harden before turning away, rubbing the sleep out of eyes as he blinks and tries to focus. It was the third time he’d fallen asleep in class, the third night he’d stayed up protecting Richard - staying up and waiting to see if their father would stumble in, drunk off his ass and decide to use them - always Ben - as punching bags. 

He hadn’t, not after the last time - when Ben had been hit so hard he saw stars, so hard that when he finally came to - Richard was crying and his dad looked shell-shocked, Ben seeing the worry and guilt in his eyes.

Whether he was actually guilty, Ben didn’t know. He also didn’t care.

Ben would take it, every hit - every word and every moment - if it kept Richard safe.

Richard was his first priority, the only thing that mattered - his mind going back to the words his mom had said when she’d gently placed him in Ben’s arms eight years ago.

“You’re a big brother now, Ben. That’s a big responsibility.” 

Ben had only looked down at the tiny baby in his arms, marveling at how someone so small had previously been so loud. His father had been there, not anything like the man he was today - a man who had let the years and struggle and death change him to the point where he was almost unrecognizable.

All he had done then was smile at Ben, placing a hand to his shoulder.

“Ben’s gonna be a great big brother, aren’t you kid?”

Ben nodded, still transfixed as Richard stirred in his arms. 

It was overwhelming, the intense love he’d felt even then for Richard. As if everything in Ben’s young life had been preparing him for this moment, to hold Richard in his arms with the promise that he would be the best big brother anyone could ever have. 

Ben remembered looking back into his parents’ eyes, nodding solemnly before saying, “I will.”

He looked back to Richard, watching in awe as he opened his eyes - seemingly staring straight into Ben’s.

Ben would learn later that babies couldn’t really recognize anyone when they were first born, but Ben didn’t care.

He felt in that moment as if Richard understood the magnitude of the moment, a connection that would never be broken between them.

They were brothers. Ben was his big brother. 

And it was his greatest responsibility to protect him. 

Even now, years later - with their mother long gone and their father devolved into a miserable abusive drunk, Ben still held on to that promise.

Ben told himself a long time ago that he would never let Richard come to any harm.

And no matter what, he intended to keep that promise.

It was his responsibility. 

* * *

“I don’t want to go to synagogue.”

Ben sighed, seeing the stubbornness in Richard’s eyes. Ben was sixteen but felt so much older, counting down the days till he left for college. 

Their father was out, no doubt trying to find some new bar that he hadn’t been kicked out of, drinking away a pain that Ben hadn’t allowed himself to feel.

Ben considered leaving Richard behind for a brief moment, wondering if it really worth listening to Richard’s whines for the next few hours - only for the fear that their father would come back, find Richard alone and take out his pain on a boy that Ben had sworn to protect.

The thought that causes Ben’s voice to harden, shaking his head. 

“Yeah well, join the club. We’re going, Rich. Come on, don’t forget your _kippa_.” 

Ben could hear Richard’s grumbling, a mumble about it being unfair but Ben ignored it, securing his own in the hallway mirror. 

It wasn’t just the fear of their father that kept him going to synagogue, keeping shabbat as best he could. Richard would whine, saying none of his friends ever had to deal with all the rules or traditions that he did. 

But Ben was insistent, firm that even if Richard didn’t seem to care about any of it, that he still went with him - that Richard still read from the Torah, that Ben shuttled him off to Hebrew classes, that they both still celebrated their holy days.

It reminded Ben of their mom. And even if Richard didn’t remember much about her, Ben considered it his responsibility to keep her memory alive too. 

* * *

Two years later, the day the letter arrives, Ben wasn’t at home.

He’d got caught up at Joey’s, joking with his friends - something he’d kick himself over later. Looking back - years later - he would think of how foolish and naive he had been, to imagine that he would ever have the chance to go to college.

But at the time it had been the sole focus in his young life - second only to protecting Richard.

His thought process had been simple, thinking he could find an off-campus apartment somewhere - close enough so that Richard wouldn’t have to change schools and not cause any kind of suspicion.

But then Ben made it home, still jittery from flirting with Sally in the parking lot when he hears it - his father's voice loud even from outside the house. 

“Your fucking brother is gonna leave you. Gonna leave me. They always leave. Everyone fucking leaves!”

“Hey!” Ben yells, running through to the front door and into the living room - seeing Richard cower in fear even as Ben frantically searches over his body, seeing nothing even as he turns to face their father, furious.

“What the hell—“

The slap across his face is deafening, barely hearing Richard’s cries as he hits the ground. Ben puts a hand to his face, looking back up - smelling the alcohol on his father’s breath as he leans closer.

“You ain’t fucking leaving, you hear me?”

“I am. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Ben argues back, finding his courage even as his father looks back at him in disdain. 

“I’m gonna make it out of his hell hole. Rich and I, we’re never going to—“

“You think I’m going to allow you to take Richard? I don’t know you made it into college boy, because you’re a fucking idiot.” He brings a hand up, Ben involuntarily flinching only for the thick envelope to be thrown in his lap.

“You think your fancy college will allow you to live with your little brother? Think you’ll really be able to handle all that responsibility?”

Ben fumes, grinding his teeth. “I can take care of both of us. We don’t need you.”

His father laughs, the sound of it ugly as it grated Ben’s nerves.

“You may not think you need me, boy but you do. Need someone to tell you about this fucked up world.” He leans in even closer, Ben pulling away. “And if you think for one second that I’m going to let Richard leave with you, you’re dumber than I thought.”

He sneers at Ben, raising his hand again only to laugh when Ben flinches once more. He stumbles away, no doubt to his room - Richard jumping off the couch and into Ben’s arms as soon as their father is gone.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Is everything—“

“Are you really going to leave me?”

Ben’s heart stops, seeing the fear in Richard’s eyes. He looked so much younger than his thirteen years, Ben holding him just as tightly as he had the day that he’d first been placed in his arms.

Later, much later - Ben would think that he had more options than what he’d been given, that there could’ve been ways for him to figure out what to do - that his father’s empty threats had been only that. That if he really tried to do or say anything, invite in any kind of suspicion, that maybe Ben wouldn’t have had to deal with what he did.

But Ben didn’t know that at eighteen, making a decision that even years later - he couldn’t bring himself to regret.

“No.” He shook his head, bringing Richard closer. “I’m not leaving.”

Richard burrows his head into Ben’s chest, Ben holding him tight.

“I’ll always be here for you, Rich. Always.”

The words he doesn’t say are still deeply felt, a promise in his heart and in his mind.

_I made a promise a long time ago. _

_You’re my responsibility._

* * *

Of all the things that life had thrown at him, all the shit and the heartache and mistakes - meeting May Reilly was one of the greatest joys of his life.

It had been a chance encounter in a restaurant in Brooklyn, seeing her and her friends laugh over something that he hadn’t been able to overhear. He’d been so distracted by her, seeing the way her eyes sparkled as she laughed - the causal way she’d thrown her head back and how soft her hair had looked that it took his boss calling his name three times before he finally heard it.

“Parker, get these tables cleaned. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

Ben snapped to attention, pushing the beautiful girl with long brown hair and bright brown eyes out of his thoughts as he hurried forward, grabbing a dish rag. He needed the money for rent - but also for Richard - now halfway through his freshman year of college at NYU. Something Ben had been so proud of him for, knowing that for as much as he’d been given scholarships and help for room and board - Ben still wanted to make sure Richard didn’t have to do without.

It didn’t bother him - that Richard got to live the life that he had dreamed of for himself. Choosing to stay home, taking odd jobs around the city until Richard had graduated high school had been an easy choice - knowing Ben would never be able to live with himself if he ever let harm come to him.

But now Richard was at school, calling Ben once every few days from the pay phone on his hall - Ben looking forward to each call he got anytime they came in.

If Ben was honest, he felt almost lost - his sole purpose for eighteen years now moving on and growing up. It was a good thing, Richard being as far as he could be from their father - but Ben wasn’t quite sure what to do with his own life now.

When he’s finally cleared the tables he was supposed to, he glances back to the table that had the beautiful girl and her friends - only for his shoulders to sag he realized they were long gone.

He’s not sure what he would’ve done anyway - no woman who looked like that, dressed professionally and surrounded by people who looked better than Ben had ever had - would’ve ever given him the time of day.

But it was nice to imagine, a nice daydream - turning back to the kitchen only to stop in surprise, seeing her there in front of him.

“Hi.”

Ben feels dumbfounded, blinking a few times before his wits catch up to him.

“Uh, hi.”

“Saw you staring earlier. Wanted to see what was going on. Something on my face?”

Ben shakes his head, seeing the glimmer in her eyes - feeling a warmth flow through his body as he smiles.

“No, no. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.”

“I don’t mind. Not when it’s a guy who looks as cute as you do.”

Ben can’t hide the blush that overtakes him, watching as she smirks. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Ben. Ben Parker.”

“I’m May. Nice to meet you, Ben Parker.”

Ben sees his boss out of the corner of his eyes, frowning at him in a way that makes Ben tense. May seems to catch on to this, glancing back and waving - causing Ben’s boss to look startled even as Ben laughs.

She turns back to him, a mischievous gleam in her eye and a smile that makes Ben want to do anything to keep seeing it. 

“When do you get off work?” 

“Um—“

“Here,” She goes to grab his hand, Ben flinching before forcing himself to stop - May looking back at him curiously. 

Ben offers her a hopeful smile, hoping that he hadn’t done something wrong when she seems to brush it off, flipping his hand over and grabbing a pen out of her pocket.

She scribbles onto his palm, Ben relishing how soft her hands were before clicking the pen, smiling as she pushed his hand back. He looked down, seeing the set of numbers before meeting her eyes again.

“Call me. Ask for May Reilly. My roommates are idiots but if I’m not there, they’ll take the message.” 

May goes to leave before glancing back over her shoulder, winking. 

“But I’ll be waiting for that call, Ben Parker.”

The doorbell rings as she leaves, Ben still feeling dumbfounded as he watches her go - his gaze shifting down to the number sketched out over his palm. 

He can hear his boss’ voice loud and clear just then but Ben willfully ignores it, smiling to himself at seeing her number. 

Ben may have felt like his life didn’t quite have a purpose anymore. 

But seeing her number, feeling the smile on his lips at the memory of hers - made Ben feel as if he had a lot more to look forward to.

* * *

The next few years - Ben thinks later - would be some of the happiest of his life. 

Richard thrived in college, finally being surrounded by people just as smart and as capable as he was - free from the fear of their father lingering in the background, something that Ben had tried so hard to chase away even in knowing he couldn’t completely.

When Richard graduates, Ben is overwhelmed with joy - magnified by the woman by his side, the newly minted May Parker. 

May was a gift - in every sense of the world, a light so bright that it illuminated every part of Ben’s world. He can hardly remember what life without her had been like, ignoring the hurt and pain of his childhood and focusing solely on the happy future that he and May seemed destined for. 

He loved her, more than any girl he had ever met - even Richard joking that Ben had finally found someone that Ben might’ve loved more than him. 

Ben had been torn, frozen between the two of them as they had both laughed - May assuring him. 

“I know my place in your life, Ben. Don’t tease him, Rich.”

“Someone’s got to.” Richard had winked, Ben letting out a laugh. 

It was an impossible thing, to feel as happy as he did - a joy he still felt that couldn’t last long. 

Being with May, marrying her - it was as if he had finally found the spark of happiness that he had only seen glimpses of when he was young, when his mom had still been alive - when Richard had first been born. 

May knew about it all - her untimely death to cancer, their father’s drinking and abuse, the painstaking efforts he had taken to protect Richard from anything and everything that could cause him harm. 

“You’re a good man, Ben Parker.” She’d said once, a quiet whisper between them alone in their shared apartment. 

“That’s only because of you.” He’d whispered back, kissing her softly even as she smiled. 

It was May who had been the one to encourage Richard to apply to graduate school, Ben not even realizing that such a thing could be possible for them - thankful in more ways than one that he had May in their lives. 

It was May who had encouraged Ben to take classes at a trade school so that he could get his electrician’s license - finally getting a job that wasn’t only stable, but made good money - at least better than Ben had ever made in his life.

He knew her parents were disappointed in her choice of a husband, pinched expressions and disdain written all over their face anytime he came over - until they finally stopped meeting at all, completely bewildered at May converting to Judaism. 

“They’re ridiculous, Ben. We don’t need them.”

“They’re your family, May. I can’t ask you to—”  
  
“You’re not asking me to do anything, Ben Parker.” May had said with an even tone, one Ben knew intimately to mean that she had made a decision. “I love you. I’m going to marry you.” Her voice got softer as she took her hand in his, smiling. “And I know how much this means to you.”

Ben had swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering what the hell he had ever done to deserve to be loved by a woman like May. 

“You are my family now.” May had said matter-of-factly, kissing him quickly before turning down the street, almost dragging him as she walked forward.

And now, months later - May had been true to her word, creating a life together that Ben hadn’t even had the ability to dream about before. 

Now with Richard graduating, heading off to Columbia for a PhD in subjects that Ben felt were beyond him - Ben wondered if there would ever be anything that could ever top the sheer amount of joy and bliss that he felt, hand in hand with May as he watched Richard walk across the stage. 

Ben was happier than he had ever been. Richard was doing well. He was married to May. 

He thought that life couldn’t get any better than this. 

* * *

But then life, as it always did - surprised him. 

Ben thought he had known love when he first held Richard in his arms, thought he’d known an even greater love when he married May. 

But when Richard placed his son into Ben’s arms, eyes bright and beaming with joy - Ben knew he had been wrong. 

This moment, gently holding his nephew in his arms - was the happiest that Ben had ever been. 

“His name is Peter.” 

Ben smiled, nodding his head as scanned the face of the baby in his arms, his mind flashing back to the moment when he’d first held Richard. It was crazy to him, the idea that his baby brother was a father - something that Ben had wanted with May but had resigned themselves to never having, knowing now what they did after years of trying.

Ben couldn’t have kids. Though why he didn’t know - feeling a deep shame that he couldn’t give May something that she had desperately wanted. 

May - kind, wonderful, practical May - had said they could adopt, foster, maybe have no kids at all. 

She’d told him that she married Ben because she loved him - not for the imaginary children that they now may never have. 

And even as the thought of having his own children ached in his own heart, Ben already knew - holding Peter in his arms - that he would do anything to keep his nephew safe. 

But then Richard speaks, Ben’s heart breaking in a new and wonderful way.

“Peter Benjamin Parker.”

Ben looks up, blinking in surprise even as he sees the tears in Richard’s eyes. Ben feels the shock settle over him, shaking his head. 

“Rich-”

“You’ve been more of a father to me than our own father could ever be, Ben.” Richard says, Ben hearing the waver in his throat as he speaks. “How could I not name him after you?”

Ben feels the lump in his own throat, vision blurring as he smiles, looking back down to Peter - his nephew, his namesake. 

Peter stirs slightly in his sleep, Ben’s smile growing wider. 

“Hi Peter. I’m your uncle Ben.” 

Peter doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t even move - completely content and asleep as Ben brings him closer. 

He’d made a promise to himself years ago that he’d do anything to keep Richard safe. 

And now, holding his nephew in his arms - Ben knew that his promise had now transformed into something else. 

Peter was Richard’s son. 

Ben would do anything for him. 

It was his greatest honor. 

It was his responsibility. 

* * *

The next seven years of Ben’s life surpass even the previous five - thinking that life was finally as it should be. 

Richard and his wife Mary were a perfect fit, laughing together with a joy and an ease that Ben could only be grateful for - that their fucked up childhood hadn’t ruined either of them finding real love in their lives. 

They both worked in a lab somewhere in the city, Mary just as bright and brilliant as he was. Their work took them out of town more often than not, a fact that Ben could only be happy for - for as much time as it gave him and May with Peter. 

Neither Ben nor May pushed for kids of their own, even if the topic of adoption always lingered in the air. Anytime it would, they would have Peter - May joking on more than one occasion that they had the best of both words - the chance to shower a child with all the love, affection and spoiling that they could, content with the knowledge that they could send them back home and get a good night’s rest. 

Ben would laugh, kiss her soundly before Peter would inevitably zoom into the room - all smiles, chattering and waving his hands around. 

Peter was a carbon-copy of Richard to Ben, just as tenacious and curious about the world around him. Ben loved the chance - now that he had a stable job and a stable home life - to give Peter the kind of childhood he only hoped he had been able to give to Richard. 

Richard still didn’t care much for their faith or any of the traditions, but didn’t mind Ben sharing - noting that Mary’s own distancing from growing up Catholic made them agnostic at best. 

“I don’t see the point, but I know it matters to you.” 

“It’s our heritage, Rich. I think-”

Richard had put his hands up, a smile on his face. “I know, I know. I’m not arguing. I think it’s good for Pete. At least, it gives him something between the two of you. You know I don’t really care about all of it but,” Richard had smiled, bringing a hand to Ben’s shoulders, “any good memories I have about growing up, they were always with you, usually yelling at me about leaving my _kippa_ at home.” 

Ben had laughed, rolling his eyes even as Richard grinned. 

He was glad for it, that Richard had any good memories of their growing up at all. And that he didn’t mind Peter getting to learn about the Jewish faith, Peter being infinitely more curious than Richard had ever been.

“So I get to have a big party?” Peter had asked, Ben laughing. 

“Well the bar mitzvah isn’t just a party, Peter. It’s an important step into adulthood, a symbol that you’re aware of the responsibility you have to the community and to the world.” 

“Responsibility?” Peter snorted. “Like, when mom asks to clean my room?”

Ben smiled warmly at Peter. “Not quite. More like a responsibility to yourself, an understanding of the duty that you have to be accountable for your actions..” 

Peter’s countenance changed slightly, seemingly understanding the weight of what Ben was saying. “So it’s a big deal?”

Ben nodded again. “A very big deal. There’s a lot we’ll have to go over but don’t worry,” Ben smiled again, bringing a hand to Peter’s chin, “I’ll be right there with you.” 

Ben hadn’t expected just how true that would become. 

* * *

It was a plane crash of all things, a simple conference trip that snuffed out the light of two of the brightest stars in Ben’s universe. 

In his darkest moments, in the immediate aftermath - sitting _shiva_ with May as people from their synagogue milled about - Ben felt both an immense gratefulness and incredible guilt that Peter had been with them and not his parents, knowing that Richard and Mary had originally planned to take him with them. 

Their company had argued against it at the last minute, citing some unknown expense - even if Peter had been disappointed, the idea of visiting California and Disneyland something he had been looking forward to. 

But now, surrounded by people in his apartment - both May and Peter beside him - Ben wondered if he could be thankful that Peter hadn’t died with his parents - wondering if the grief that threatened to swallow him whole would have been overwhelming if Peter had left them too. 

It was a guilt that wracked him to his core, a grief too terrible to name. 

Richard was gone, Richard and Mary both taken from them just when their lives had really begun. 

It occurs to Ben how unfair it was, knowing that their father was still alive - rotting away in some hole that Ben had neither the time nor the inclination to search for - and Richard was not. 

But then Peter sniffled beside him, Ben’s attention immediately going to his nephew. 

“Hey Petey, you alright?”

Peter nodded, Ben’s heart breaking at how strong he was trying to be - knowing that Peter felt embarrassed about crying in front of people.

Ben said nothing, just bringing him closer into his arms - Peter falling into him as he burrowed his head into his chest. 

It’s an action that sends his mind back to when Richard had done the same - the day Ben had been accepted to college, promising Richard that he would never leave him.

Ben had never thought to ask if Richard would do the same, but it was too late for that now. 

Richard was gone. But Ben’s promise was still there. 

Ben couldn’t protect Richard anymore. 

But he’d do anything to protect Peter. 

It was his responsibility. 

* * *

Yet Peter seemed intent on pushing that to its limit. 

Ben clutched him tightly, shaking — with anger, with terror, with complete and utter relief. 

“Uncle Ben! Did you see that—“

“Peter, what the hell were you thinking?” Ben says, shaking as he brings him out of his arms, seeing the shock in Peter’s eyes.

“What—”

“You could’ve been killed! What, why did you do that?” Ben knew his nightmares would now revolve around Peter standing still, putting a hand up to one of those damn robots - the Iron Man mask firmly on his face. 

“I had to stop him. I was trying to be brave, like Iron Man.” Peter whispered, Ben trying to stave down his panic - seeing the hurt in his eyes. 

“You’re—you’re already brave, Petey. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“But you said that if it’s in your power to do something and you don’t, it’s like it happens because of you.” Ben curses Peter’s ability to remember everything he’d ever told him, wondering to himself if May had been right - if Peter had been too young to take to the Expo.

But they’d saved up their money for months, Peter lighting up like it was Hanukkah when they’d presented the tickets to him.

It was something that made him almost vibrate with joy, Ben thinking he would do anything to keep seeing that smile on Peter’s face - even if his heart ached for how much it reminded him of Richard. 

“I did, I did say that huh?” Peter nodded, Ben seeing the tears forming in his eyes. Ben smiles, his own vision blurring as he wipes away one of the tears with his thumb. 

“Well kiddo, sometimes uncle Ben gets scared okay? You’re my responsibility, kiddo. And I can’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Peter smiles at this, Ben feeling his smile deepen as Peter speaks. “Just like Iron Man?” 

Ben laughs, shaking his head at the hero worship that Peter held so deeply for a man that Ben hardly knew. He knew May didn’t care for him much, knowing him distantly from having grown up in similar circles. Ben had no opinion either way, his only real memory of watching the press conference of the eccentric billionaire who announced to the world that he was a superhero without so much as blinking - thinking how either brave or foolish that had to have been. 

But Peter adored him, so much that Ben couldn’t help but kind of like him too - thinking that anything or anyone that Peter liked couldn’t be so bad. 

“Yeah, Petey. Just like Iron Man.” 

Ben brings him into another fierce hug, laughing as Peter mumbled that Ben was squishing him. 

Ben might not have the money that Tony Stark has, was still confused as to what the hell happened that made all those robots go haywire - but Ben didn’t really care. 

Peter was right.

Ben would do anything to keep Peter safe - anything.

It was his greatest honor.

It was his responsibility. 

* * *

Ben had often thought about the afterlife, but he hadn’t expected it to be quite like this. 

The idea of the world to come, the belief in something beyond what he experienced on earth was always something that brought a lot of comfort to Ben - but with everything that he dealt with in life, he didn’t really dwell too much on it - too focused on living, on Richard, May and then Peter. 

So to now be in a sort of limbo, gone and yet not - was surprising to him.

Ben didn’t remember much of how he died, brief glimpses of Peter’s agonized expression, of a pain deep in his gut, only for it to drift away - just as quickly as it had arrived. 

Wherever he was - whatever he was now - it was peaceful, calm and quiet in a way that Ben hadn’t quite ever experienced. 

He feels a twinge of something in his chest when he sees glimpses of May, watching Peter as they bury him - seeing the sadness in his nephew’s eyes. 

Ben wants to tell him that he’s okay, that he doesn’t feel any kind of pain - but there’s an understanding for Ben that he’s beyond speaking to him at this point. 

A thought occurs to him that he hasn’t seen his mother, hasn’t seen Richard or Mary - Ben wondering if he was really dead after all. 

But then he sees Peter - continues to see him, watching as the world around him shifts - noting the passage of time for only the way the days and the nights seem to blur together. 

Even in death, if that’s truly what he had experienced, Ben decides that for as long as he is given the chance, maybe he’ll stick around. 

He has to watch out for May. Has to make sure Peter is alright.

It was his responsibility. 

* * *

Of all the things Ben expected in the afterlife - no, in life - he really hadn’t expected the next few years of Peter’s life. 

The trip to Oscorp. A bite that made Peter transform seemingly overnight. Ben knew that something had changed with Peter when he was still alive but now - seeing his nephew dress up in a ridiculous red and blue onesie, swinging around the city and helping people - Ben felt a strange mixture of worry and pride. 

He watches Tony Stark walk into their apartment, on a mission to take Peter abroad for reasons beyond Ben. He’d never paid much attention to what the Avengers did in life and in death, still cared little about them. 

Ben’s only focus had been on May. 

And on Peter. 

Watching the two of them, listening as Peter repeats his own words back to Tony Stark - Ben sees the flicker of something almost like guilt on the man’s face, a haunted expression that makes Ben wish he had paid more attention. 

But Ben’s attention focused back on Peter, the boy he’d do anything for - the one he was incredibly proud of. 

He laughed when Peter had stood up, webbing Tony Stark’s hands to his bedroom door, finger in the air before saying, “Don’t tell Aunt May.” 

Ben saw the humor in his eyes as Tony nodded, saying, “All right, Spider-Man.” 

Ben hadn’t cared much for his comments about May, taking his nephew out of the country without so much as a whisper to what he would be doing. 

But the excitement in Peter’s eyes as he boarded the plane, the wonder in his voice as he sent webs out - swinging around in a fight that Ben got the feeling should never have happened - he couldn’t help but feel the swell of pride in his chest. 

Peter was acting dangerously, reckless in a way that Ben knows he should’ve been more concerned about. But Ben also knew - as well as anyone could - how deeply Peter felt about his responsibilities - to himself, to the world. 

Ben understood. 

It was his responsibility too. 

* * *

The disastrous ferry incident, the homecoming that all went terribly wrong - Ben never wished more that he wasn’t… whatever he was, wishing that he could jump in - protect Peter like he had for years and years before. 

But each time, Peter surprised him - picking himself back up, fighting back - saving a man who had seconds before had been trying to kill him. 

Ben was even more proud to see him turn down the man he knew Peter idolized, to make the mature and responsible decision to stick closer to the ground. 

He expected May’s fury when she finally found out the truth, even glad for the chance for May to give an earful to Tony Stark - glad that in some way, his own misgivings about her being referred to only as ‘Aunt Hottie’ being smugly resolved at the way she laid into him. 

But then time - if there was such a thing for Ben - started to pass, Ben watching as Peter started to grow more confident in himself. 

Peter was doing incredible things, going out and saving people - even if it still struck a chord of terror in his heart that Peter would ever be in danger - would ever be at risk of meeting the same fate that Richard had, that even Ben had encountered. 

But each time, Peter would bring himself out of it - each time Peter pick himself up, straightening his shoulders - ready to live to fight another day. 

Ben would be content to watch him forever - for eternity - but then he’d see the way May would smile at him, see the way Peter’s features started to grow and change and Ben knew - it was almost time for him to go. 

Yet the moment doesn’t come until he watched as Peter and Tony were laughing about something in one of his many labs, joking with each other with a familiarity and an ease that made Ben smile in remembering how awkward that first meeting had been. 

Ben wondered if Tony knew that Peter had been the boy that he’d saved at the Expo, wondered if that was something May or Peter had ever shared. But whether he did or didn’t, Ben didn’t care - being struck with a look in Tony’s eyes that day that reminded him so much of the way he used to look at Peter.

A look of someone who loved Peter, someone who would do anything to protect him. 

The same man who had said all those months ago that if Peter had died, that it would be on him. 

Ben didn’t want to leave Peter, even in knowing that to Peter - he already had. But then the pull to leave - to truly and finally let go - started to overwhelm him, smiling as he watched Peter laugh. 

He promised himself - a lifetime ago - that he’d do anything to keep Richard safe, would do anything to make sure Peter was okay. 

But then seeing Peter - happy, healthy and whole - sitting beside a man who looked at Peter as if he were his own, the knowledge that Peter had May waiting for him at home - made Ben think that maybe now, finally - it was okay for him to go. 

Ben made a promise to watch out for Richard. 

To take care of Peter.

Ben never gave up on his responsibilities.

But smiling, Peter’s laugh the last thing he hears before he finally drifts away - Ben knew it in his soul.

He’d fulfilled his promise. 

And Peter was in good hands. 


End file.
